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So apparently, we are gonna have our very own F1 Team.

The prime minister recently announced that 1Malaysia F1 Team will be formed. The car will be made in Malaysia, the driver will be Malaysian, even the pitstop would be manned by Malaysians. The team would be lead by AirAsia boss Tony Fernandes. And it'll be a joint venture between the Malaysian government, Proton, AirAsia, among others.

I guess when they made the announcement, they probably expected Malaysians all over the country to react with pride - "Wow, we have our very own F1 team! Competing with the big boys like BMW, Ferrari and McLaren on the world stage! COOL!"

Unfortunately, the ugly truth is that most Malaysians do not share the same joy and enthusiasm as those involved. Even when no taxpayer's money is involved, a majority of people simply have no confidence in this project.

And I guess they have good reasons why. I mean, come on, this a Malaysian Government + Proton + AirAsia project.

Off the top of my head, here are five reasons why the 1Malaysia F1 Team is never gonna work.

#1 Every time our competitor's car crash and bang into the wall, instead of racing to the finishing line, our 1Malaysia F1 car suddenly slow down to a crawl.

Why?

Must take a closer look at the car accident mah.

#2 Halfway driving, our 1Malaysia F1 car suddenly drives to the nearest petrol station.

Why?

Government just announced, "tomorrow petrol price increase by 0.01 cent." Wah lan eh, better fill up tank first!

#3 Halfway driving, suddenly our 1Malaysia F1 car swerves left and right and bang into other people for no reason.

Why?

Our 1Malaysia F1 driver's wife just called. The idiot one hand on steering wheel, the other hand holding his handphone talking to his wife!

#4 Other F1 cars have one driver. Our 1Malaysia F1 car has THREE drivers.

Why?

Because "1Malaysia" mah. Must have one Chinese, one Malay and one Indian driving. Otherwise other people might get jealous and protest!

#5 As soon as the gun went off, all the other cars zoomed out from the starting line, but then our 1Malaysia F1 car was still stuck there.

Why?

How to make it lah like that?